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Beer Through the YearsJ Square Humboldt
No one really knows exactly how the first beer came into being
...
Suffice it to say that, around 10,000 years ago, somebody let a
primordial barley and hop concoction stand long enough for it to
ferment. The result not only made anonymous history, it was the
genesis of beer's own special influence throughout the ages.
Here are a few examples of note:
It was the accepted practice in Babylonia, as early as 4000
years ago, that for a month after a wedding, the bride's father
would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.
Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was
lunar-based, this period was called the "honey month" or what we
know today as the "honeymoon." I have also heard that the custom
included one of the most resourceful bits of propaganda ever
created for husbands. As the story went, if the groom drank mead
for an entire moon, it would enhance the chances of his wife
bearing a male heir. The bride, however, had to abstain from
drinking alcohol at all. I'll leave the punch lines to you.
After consuming a bucket or two of vibrant brew they called
'aul,' or 'ale,' a certain self-appointed breed of Vikings would
head fearlessly into battle without armor, or even without
shirts. In fact, the term "berserk" means "bare shirt" in Norse,
and eventually took on the meaning of their wild behavior in
battle. They believed that Odin's favor was all they needed for
protection, and if they were to die in combat, it was only
because The Allfather decided it was their time to enter the
hallowed halls of Valhalla. This was Odin's great 'Castle of the
Chosen Slain,' where 'inductees' would spend eternity in Viking
nirvana, ie- fighting all day, having their wounds miraculously
heal at sundown, and then partying all night, with generous
quantities of ale at their beck and call.
Before thermometers were invented, brewers would dip a thumb or
finger into the mix to find the right temperature for adding
yeast. Too cold, and the yeast wouldn't grow. Too hot, and the
yeast would die. This practice is where we get the phrase, "rule
of thumb."
The first known consumer protection act arose with the German
Beer Purity Law of 1516, known as Rheinheitsgebot. This decreed
that, in order to be called 'beer,' a beverage could only
consist of four ingredients: malt, hops, yeast and water. This
is such a revered regulation that when the European Union
facilitated the introduction of other beers into the German
market, it took a court order for many stores to sell them. Most
of those beers contained preservatives, and to a respectable
German, that meant --- and still does --- that such beverages
were not beer.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So, in olde
England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at
them to mind their own pints and quarts and settle down. It's
where we get the phrase, "mind your P's and Q's."
Also in England's olden days, pub frequenters often had a
whistle baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When
they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
In 1740, Admiral Vernon of the British fleet decided to water
down the navy's rum. Needless to say, the sailors weren't too
pleased and called Admiral Vernon "Old Grog," after the stiff
wool grogram coats he wore. The term "grog" soon began to mean
the watered down drink itself. When you were drunk on this grog,
you were "groggy," a word that has been expanded to include the
effects of too much beer and is still in use today.
There are numerous quotations which pay homage to beer. Allow me
to list three of the wittiest:
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel
ashamed. Then, I look into the glass and think about the workers
in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't
drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams
would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I
drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish
and worry about my liver.'"
-- Saturday Night Live's faux-philosopher, Jack Handy
"Put it back in the horse!"
-- W C Fields, disapproving of a sub-standard brew
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-- Benjamin Franklin
Given a good pint, composed of God's natural ingredients and
nurtured by man's learned craft, beer has made us very happy,
indeed.
Just keep the joy below 0.08% of your blood content.
About the author:
J Square Humboldt is the featured columnist at Longer Life's
website, which provides information designed to improve the
quality of living. He's at
http://longerlifegroup.com/cyberiter.html
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